I was sick for most of the end of last week. Not like sniffles and chicken soup sick, like, full on fever, cold sweats, and hallucinations sort of sick. I don’t get this sick often, or ever really, but this time was something super special and fun. Usually at this point in a movie, you would see a mom or girlfriend end up taking care of you, but no, as a bachelor who lives alone, you are consigned to your apartment and however you can manage to survive.
First off, when you’re deep in a fever and you’re not completely sure if you’re awake or dreaming this is not a very safe thing. I’d drift in and out of consciousness so much that I discovered that the first thing I needed to do was to have my phone within arm’s reach at all times, so I knew the time and day of when I woke up. There was one time my phone screen was a pink furry cat face which told me to feed it. I was pretty sure that wasn’t real, so I just went back to sleep.
My life for a few days consisted of waking up in a cold sweat, making my way to the bathroom on wobbly legs clinging to the walls for support, then making my way back to bed, and ordering Seamless. Holy god, thank you Seamless, if the service didn’t exist, I’m not exactly sure how I would be typing this right now. My Seamless bill for the week is going to be obscene, but I’m alive and cogent, so I’ll take it.
There were multiples times trying to find my way to the door to get the delivery or just going to the bathroom that my legs would give out. I remember thinking to myself, “In the name of all that is holy, I’d prefer not to die right now, but if I do, I sure as hell do not want to die collapsed in a heap halfway to the bathroom.” Somewhere between that and Netflix repeatedly asking if I was still watching, I emerged weakened, but alive.
In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the hospital at some point during the delirium, but the prospect of walking the five blocks or so seemed too daunting to me. It also occurred to me that being alone for so long has actually conditioned me into managing by myself probably more than I should. I don’t like to rely on people, and when I do, I tend to ask more of them than I should. It’s that unfamiliarity that makes me go nuts, and you know, generally unapproachable to most people.
But hey, at least I’m alive right?
Note to self: Have live-in girlfriend next time your body decides to revolt on you and attempt self-immolation.
Who am I kidding, just make sure my Seamless account is active and my Netflix subscription is paid up.