All of life has to be perceived through one lens, which is ours. We’re the center of our own universe, and the older you get, if you stay in that one perspective, the worse off you are. Empathy is important, acknowledging different points of view is necessary to understand people in general. I’d like to think that I’m pretty open-minded in that aspect, but there’s always a trap I fall into. At the end of the day, I always think that I’m the hero of my own story, when that just isn’t true sometimes.
In order to be a protagonist, you have to have an antagonist, whether it’s some villain, or just world in general. We always self-aggrandize a little in our heads, and I think that’s normal. We all want a part to play in the grand tapestry of things, but the fact of the matter is, most of us won’t. In fact our main role is usually going to be just being an extra in someone else’s life. I don’t always do the right thing, I’ve known that about myself for a while now, but I still paint myself as the main character in my head, for better or worse.
Taking a step back, I wonder how many times I’ve been the antagonist, the bad guy, the villain in someone’s story. How many times I’ve been the sidekick or the comedic relief. Have I ever been the romantic lead? I don’t know, nor will I ever know, but I think the universal feeling is that we want to matter. We want to matter to ourselves, we want to matter to the people that we care about, we want to matter period. I think that’s why people act out, sometimes in the worst ways. There’s some inherent need deep down inside of us to be heard and understood. In a lot of ways that’s why I keep this blog.
I wonder though, whether I’m the white knight or the villain, the lead or the foil, how do people see me? I’ve done good things, bad things, great things, and terrible things, and yet, I feel like it all depends on the lens you view it through. Deep down, I still want to remain the hero of my story, because I think growing up means that you stop viewing other people or the circumstances that are as villains. I think it’s very rare in life that people are malevolently out to get you, and in those instances, the drama factor is ratcheted up to 11. But most days, I think the world serves up a huge heaping of benign indifference, and I think those are the days that matter most. How do we take control of those days, who are we during the doldrums? I think that makes all the difference. We all want to be the hero every day, but the days when we’re not, who are we being to the people around us? And even if we’re to be the villain, the antagonist, should we be the best one we can be if that means being true to yourself?