So, Umbrella girl (as y’all have so ably dubbed her).
We did meet up again, sadly, she did not have my umbrella. (RIP Lucky Umbrella 2013-2015)
Anyways, we’ve been talking, and recently, in no uncertain terms, her life has been off-the-wall bonkers. Like Lifetime Original Movie bonkers. This obviously, isn’t very conducive to any sort of dating. To her credit, she put it all out on the table. We both knew that we were attracted to each other, and she made that clear, but she said with everything in her life going on, she couldn’t see herself with anyone, and that she needed some time alone to get her life together.
I get that. And that still stings though. I’m a sap, and a hopeless one at that. But growing up has toughened the skin quite a bit, and the things that used to keep me in bed now are kept away by strong black coffee. I grew up on a steady diet of romantic comedies. One of my dad’s favorite movies is ‘Sleepless in Seattle’, and I never really complained when my sister took the remote to watch ’10 Thing I Hate About You’ whenever it was on.
I guess when I was little I was conditioned to believe that grand gestures were the way to go when it comes to winning over women. I was absolutely disabused of this notion as I was growing up and reality hit like a truck, but I still always had a penchant for it. What’s painful is that you basically realize that all of those over-the-top things that the guys do in those films are basically crimes, but it just ended up that the girl liked them back so it was forgotten. The difference between being incredibly romantic and a creepy stalker is self-awareness and how she feels about you. By and large, avoid the grand gesture to someone you’re not in a relationship with.
That being said, Umbrella girl messaged me last night, because she was a bit down and needed something to cheer her up. I don’t know what possessed me, maybe I was tired of waiting, maybe I was done with hoping the stars would align, but I don’t know, I saw opportunity and I guess inspiration struck. I raced down to Duane Reade, bought a Sharpie for a $1 and grabbed a bunch of printer paper. I then wrote a quick 9 slide presentation called “The Top 5 Reasons We Should Go On a Date.”
I’m not going to detail each individual slide, that’s between me and her. But, to give you the gist, this was reason #3:
I took a selfie with each slide, and sent them to her in sequence. So yeah, definitely an homage to ‘Love Actually’, but I just adapted it to the digital age.
For the first time in a long time, I did something impulsively romantic and it felt different. My favorite part of that scene from ‘Love Actually’ is the slide where he says “Without Hope or Agenda”. And you can easily say that my agenda was to score a date with her, but I can tell you honestly that it wasn’t. I just wanted to make her smile for a bit, so I didn’t take myself too seriously and just thought about what would make her laugh. It wasn’t about me or what I wanted, all I knew is that she could’ve used something to brighten up her day, and I didn’t mind coming off as a fool. So I sent it, and that was that.
OK, fine, we’re going on a date.
I guess sometimes the Hail Mary does work. Though, if you think about it, this upcoming date now has completely unrealistic expectations attached to it. I mean, mostly my fault, but still, completely unrealistic.
But hey, what the hell am I complaining about? Oh no, I have to plan an amazing date with a beautiful girl who’s into me. Life is really hard sometimes. But some other times, the whole hopeless romantic thing pays off.
Thank god for Sharpies and Instagram.