I had a hot week a while ago. It would’ve been a lot catchier for the title if I had went 7-for-7, but I’ll let the facts win the day. Anyways, it was a combination of online dating, chance meetings, and good old flirting that got the girls interested, and some bizzare coincidences that lead the dates being back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back.
Anyways, for the sake contrived congruity, let’s list 7 things I learned from that week.
1. Strike While the Iron is Hot
Did you have a conversation? Did you click? Fuck the 3-day rule. Set something up and go for it. I feel like the reason why I met up with so many people is because I didn’t let the momentum stop. If we had a moment of genuine interest, I broached the topic of meeting up, and we set something up right there. Get her number, and figure out a place.
2. Order a Drink
I don’t really consume alcohol, but it makes girls really awkward if they’re the only ones drinking. It makes them uncomfortable, and then that makes the whole situation uncomfortable. I think it also makes them think I had a problem, or that I’m somehow judging. I really don’t give a shit, but I started ordering a drink just so that it was out of the way. Stupid, but effective.
3. Don’t Take It Too Seriously
Dating should be fun. You shouldn’t be trolling for a wife or anything that serious, especially on a first date. Also, if you’re meeting someone from online for the first time, chill the fuck out. No one is going to look exactly like their picture. It’s better or worse, get over it, you’re probably not a carbon copy either. Smile, and just realize that you’re just two people trying to get to know each other. As long as your date isn’t suddenly the wrong gender or race, just roll with it.
4. Hippies aren’t welcome.
I spent 45 minutes at a bar with a girl who was trained as a midwife on a commune. She spoke of the evils of modern western medicine. Then to make matters worse, she then talked about babies and having babies for the next 20 minutes. No. No. No. No. No. Silver lining, the bar we met at is pretty cool, and might take a place on my date spots.
I mean, I want kids, eventually, but certainly not right now, and definitely not with you.
5. Stop Thinking About Her Naked
It could’ve been 1000 days since the last time you went to the holy land, doesn’t matter. Stop thinking about sex. Listen, react, remember. Don’t be that guy who is only obsessed about the one thing, there’s at best a 15% chance of that happening. I mean, you can be interested in that one thing, but be interested in all the other things as well. Women know when that’s all you have on your mind. Look at her eyes, respond with thought. Except if I have to talk to a
midwife doula (hippie midwife) again, I’m fucking running away.
6. Have Manners and Pay for the Damn Date
Hey, so the date isn’t what you wanted. Tough titties, be a gentleman and have some fucking manners. Don’t leave after 15 minutes, this girl took a chance on you. Don’t be a piece of shit. She might not be what you’re looking for, but she still deserves respect. You might not be in love, but have the decency to be cordial. It doesn’t matter if she’s being shitty, or if other people tell you it’s okay. It’s not. How other people act gives you no excuse to be an asshole.
Oh, and pay for the damn thing. This is how it works.
- The check comes (The Delivery)
- The guy intercepts it (The Interception)
- The girl offers to split it (Le Courtesy Offer)
- The guy refuses (The Rite of Refusal)
- The girl makes sure it’s okay (The Feigned Protest)
- The guy says that he’s got it (The Affirmation)
Fucking pay the check. It may be an honest offer to split the check, but, you should never go to a place you can’t afford, nor a place where you can’t treat the girl. If she really insists (anything that requires past a third Rite of Refusal), let her split it. It gets super awkward when two people fight over a check for too long.
7. Dating 6 Girls is the Same as Dating None
Dating is exhausting. Getting dressed up, setting up a location, going out, being mentally focused on someone else. I tried juggling all these girls for a few weeks, and at the end of it, the sad fact is I didn’t really care about date 2 or 3 other than the fact to see if I could get to date 2 or 3. Some of the dates were good, some of the dates were awful (Doula Date: Hall of Fame Terrible), but there’s was nothing keeping me going other than to see if I could. First dates are exciting, but if the second date isn’t more exciting, then you’re doing it wrong.
So that was what I learned from that week. Or at least what I can remember. It was a fucking blur. But the fallout was even more fodder to write about, whether it’s fit to be published….well, we’ll see