Recently, I’ve decided to start dating in earnest. Let me preface this to begin, dating is a pretty awkward exercise. I say this not as a blanket statement, but purely as a personal one. I haven’t dated, and I surely haven’t tried for anything resembling a relationship in a long time. The thought of committing to an hour or two with someone that I don’t really know and just spending one-on-one time with them is pretty daunting. Over the course of 10 days, I went on three first dates. In turn, I learned three important lessons, which of course, since you’re reading this, I’m going to tell you about. Of course, these are in no particular order…
1. Never Ever Be Underdressed
My first date, I ended having to move some stuff around and I ended up going to meet her for dinner right after class. I’m not a slob when I go to class, but I’m not exactly dressed to impress either. I showed up to the date in a henley and khakis, when she showed up in a skirt and a nice blouse. To be completely honesty, I’m pretty vain, and being underdressed made for a pretty uncomfortable evening for me. I feel like me being underdressed gave off the message that I either didn’t care about the date, or that I just normally dress that way. Giving off the first impression that you care less doesn’t start the date well. My attention to my appearance just exacerbated the feeling of playing off my back foot. Lesson fucking learned. Better to be a bit overdressed than underdressed. I’m not saying wear a tux to a dinner and a movie, but at least make an effort.
2. Pay For The First Date
I know that it’s 2014 and that going dutch is a very real thing, but I guess I was just taught a little differently. For all three dates, I paid for dinner. Granted, she didn’t order the lobster, but it’s still something to think about. I just think that it’s the right thing to do, and it makes a good impression. There’s something chivalrous and masculine about picking up the tab for the first date, regardless of whether it went well or poorly. I can’t say if all the dates went well, but at least this way, I know that it ends well.
3. Give It A Shot
This is one of my biggest problems. I make snap judgements, and most of the time they’re accurate. It’s a skill that serves me well in a lot of ways, but for dating, it’s awful. You’re agreeing to spend this time with someone, and to write it off as a loss just a few minutes in, it’s really not fun for anyone to just sit and a table and make forced conversation about what you studied in college and what sports teams you follow. Dating should be fun, and if nothing happens, you should at least have shown the girl a good time. I tend to be sarcastic, and that doesn’t play well either. If there’s anything I learned with three dates over ten days, it’s that I need to give things a shot, even if it doesn’t seem like there’s anything there. If you’re going to do it, do it right.
Needless to say, most first dates will probably be last dates, but still. That’s three lessons down for me. Probably a few hundred more to go. In short, the things I’ve learned, be vain, be rich, and be open, right?
…..wait a second….