Getting Breakfast With a Stripper (Pt. 2)
Ok, now, where did we leave off…ah yes, ‘Velvet’.
First can we stop for a second to acknowledge how incredibly ludicrous it must be to introduce yourself with a name like ‘Lexus’ or ‘Fantasy’. I understand why they do it, to protect themselves from stalkers, but still, it was just a really funny notion that these names were somehow used and people thought that these names would somehow make them sexier.
But anyways, so Velvet introduced herself. The first thing that I liked was that she didn’t plant herself on my lap. I understand that they’re trying to prey on my baser instincts, but as someone who was sober and quite cognizant of my personal space, it was a nice change.
(Fun Fact: It’s hard to see body glitter in the dark, but it’s there, and it rubs off extremely easily. My buddy’s black blazer ended up looking like something out of Liberace’s closet)
But anyways, back to business. This girl stood out from the crowd. For one, she wasn’t blonde. It is quite literally a sea of bleach blonde hair. In addition, she didn’t walk around with a pair of balloons attached to her chest. (I could go into a whole other post about how breast implants are just awful). Honestly, the reason she caught my eye was that she looked like she didn’t belong there, she looked like a regular girl, not some hypersexualized fantasy. Also, it must be terrible to be a short guy at one of those clubs, because every girl is wearing six inch heels. I’m above average height and I had a hard time navigating the crowd.
She introduced herself, and we just talked. She didn’t try getting a dance or try to be some sort of sex kitten, we just talked and laughed about how ridiculous this whole situation was. I ended up asking her one of the questions I’d been wanting to ask all night.
“How the hell do you figure out which guys to approach?”
She laughed heartily and started to tell me how the different girls have different strategies of how to approach the club. Some girls play the numbers game and approach every guy they see and work quickly throughout the night. Others try to locate the whales in the club, either by what they’re wearing or how much money they’re spending at the bar, and spend more time trying to extract money from them. She then started talking about how to balance the two strategies using game theory and right then, I knew that I was about to nerd out. I ended up spending the next half hour grilling her about the intricacies of how they could tell who was worth their time and who wasn’t. Apparently, it’s the shoes. When it’s dark, it can obscure clothes, a lot of watches look the same, but a quality pair of shoes will stand out no matter what.
At this point I asked her why she came up to me, and she said that she only went up to guys that she was attracted and she felt good about. That was incredibly flattering, I’m not sure that it was true at the time, but it was flattering nonetheless. It had been around 45 minutes since she first sat down, and I realized that I had been monopolizing her time. I quickly apologized for keeping her and asked if she wanted to get up. She looked at me, sighed, and said that she really wanted to keep talking, but she should probably go and work. I sheepishly suggested that we should get food before I left Vegas, and to my surprise, she told me that we should get breakfast. I laughed, and we exchanged numbers, and I finally got a real name.
Apparently she got out of work at 6am so we met at a cafe that was open 24 hours at my hotel. I got an omelette, she got French toast. We started talking, and she actually worked PR in the music industry in New York City. She flew out to Vegas once a month to make money to make ends meet, because it doesn’t interfere with her job and it doesn’t take much effort. We spent about an hour just talking and getting to know each other. After the hour, we were both about to pass out, so I walked her to the taxi stand and sent her to her hotel.
So what did I glean from this whole experience? I don’t know exactly, but it definitely made me a lot less judgmental. I’m in a fortunate set of circumstances where I can pursue my goals by simply working hard at one thing and other times I can relax. Some people aren’t that lucky and it’s incredibly condescending to judge someone by the means they go to in order to achieve their dreams. I think we all hope deep down that the things we have to do don’t end up changing the things we want to do. I certainly hope that, for myself and definitely for Leah.
And that, is how I got breakfast with a stripper.