Women We’ll Never Date: Rachel Bilson

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Women We’ll Never Date: Rachel Bilson

Like every other adult around my age, I think we all remember the time that we were swept up into the national zeitgeist around the teen soap “The O.C.”. Who could forget the adventures of a troubled youth who moved to the ritzy neighborhoods of Orange County. Oh wait, everyone did? That pretty much sounds right.

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Stop F#cking Swearing (A Gentleman’s Guide to Profanity)

Stop F#cking Swearing (A Gentleman’s Guide to Profanity)

My mom always taught me not to swear. Even if I said something like, “This sucks” earned me a quick rap on the back of my head. Forget about any true profanity. To this day my language is as clean as a whistle in front of my mother. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to curse like a sailor. I like to think of my use of profanity as an exercise in creativity and vitriol. Key phrases such as ‘clusterfuck’ have made its way into my lexicon. They say that, “Profanity is the use of strong words by weak people.”

My response: Go Fuck Yourself.

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The Accidental Celebrity (or Why I’m Going to Be a Bunch of People’s Vacation Pics)

The Accidental Celebrity (or Why I’m Going to Be a Bunch of People’s Vacation Pics)

It’s funny, after living in New York City for a while, you kind of get used to crowds that are hovering for no good reason. 95% of the time, it’s because there’s a celebrity around and they want to get a glimpse or get pictures. I will admit, the first few times I saw those crowds, I joined in on a few, but as you live for longer periods of time in the city, you get jaded. It’s nuts how people, and by people, I mean tourists, will just eat up the opportunity to get a glimpse of someone that they think is famous. Which, pretty much leads me into my story…
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The Lost Intimacy of the Slow Dance

The Lost Intimacy of the Slow Dance

I remember in middle school, the first time that you danced with a girl was met with an overwhelming cacophony as social bombardment as soon as the song was over. For me, ‘that song’ was “This I Promise You”, “I Do”, and “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” on permanent loop. I also remembered the rules, you had to be an arm’s length away, the girl would have her hands on the guy’s shoulders, and the guy would have his hands on the girl’s hips. Or, since most boys had zero clue at that age where the hips actually were and didn’t want to be super creepy, we had a extremely light grip on the abdomen of our dance partner. Ah, young romance, all hormones and stupidity.

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Time and Tide: The Importance of a Wristwatch

Time and Tide: The Importance of a Wristwatch

My father always told me that men shouldn’t wear jewelry. I can say for a fact that he abides by this rule. He doesn’t even wear his wedding ring, as he can’t stand the feeling of having something on his finger. The only thing that he has in his closet that resembles anything in the realm of jewelry are his cufflinks. That, only because he has french cuff shirts.

My father has always put function and comfort above everything else when it comes to his style. He is a minimalist. If you met him on the street when he wasn’t going to work, he would be dressed in the standard suburban dad gear that you’d think of. However, most days, and I remember my dad heading off to work in the morning, he’d be dressed in a suit. The suit, the tie, the overcoat would always change, but one thing would be constant. He always wore a watch.

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