Now is about the time when most people get into serious relationships. I know a lot of people who are in a relationship for the sake of being in one. I feel your mid to late twenties is the time in American society where you should be playing for keeps. Every date becomes magnified, and any relationship longer than a few months becomes a topic of conversation and buzz.
I cannot be further away from that. Maybe it’s because I have the emotional maturity of a high school senior, or it’s just that I don’t feel like playing for keeps, but I am obviously out of my depth. It’s not that I don’t eventually want to get married, but I don’t want to do things for the sake of doing things. I feel like being together for the sake of doing the right thing at the right time is really pointless. Even worse, are the people who were obviously settling for the sake of being in the right relationship status to your age.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve believed in finding that one. The one person that was meant for me. Perhaps it’s the copious amount of Disney films that I watched, or my dad’s love of Meg Ryan romantic comedies (‘Sleepless in Seattle’ is amazing, no sarcasm intended at all). I think a lot of us believe this as kids, and little by little, we lose that sense of idealism, that there is someone out there meant for us. Sometimes it gets diluted to the belief that there are multiple people meant for us, or finally to the belief that we have to settle for the hand that we’re dealt.
I understand why this is, I understand why it’s easier. I think it’s human nature to satisfy our needs as quickly as we can, the best that we can. Someone won a Nobel prize for explaining this concept economically, which is called ‘satisficing’. The word origin comes from combining ‘satisfying’ and ‘sufficing’. I think that’s the perfect summation of most decisions in my life. It’s good enough, but I’ve found in the past few years that ‘good enough’ wears on you after a while. I have satisficed for a lot of things in my life, but for some reason, I refuse to do so when it comes to my lovelife.
I think it’s a matter of faith. I’m not a religious person, nor a very spiritual one, but I do have faith. I think faith by definition requires a risk of being wrong and an acceptance of the unknown. For some reason, I have an unyielding faith that someone out there is the right person for me. Maybe this will change in five years, maybe it will change in ten years, or it might change tomorrow, who knows. Am I afraid that I’ll be proven wrong? Absolutely, but that’s part of faith. Does that mean that I’m just going to look to marry every girl I date? Hell no. Does that mean I’m going to be making plenty of mistakes (most of which will be documented on this blog for posterity)? Probably. At the end of the road though I’ll know that when I do eventually settle down, I won’t have doubts, my eyes won’t wander, and that I’ll want to be with her.
For me, I don’t think there’s much more you can ask for than that.